Nonsense Office Gossip
by Ratt9
Summary: There's a rumour floating around that L and Light are sleeping together. Their activities during the day certainly aren't helping their case.


"Chief! Chief!"

Matsuda came running up to Soichiro, panting and out of breath. He stopped suddenly, in the process, spilling hot coffee all over Soichiro's shirt.

"Matsuda!" Chief exclaimed, crossly.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Matsuda cried. "But Chief, but Chief, did you hear about L and Light?"

"Quit repeating yourself like that, and, what about them? Did something happen?"

"You bet! They're sleeping together!"

Soichiro gave him a _what the fuck _look. "What?"

"Yep! Everyone is talking about it!"

The chief paused. "…Ohh. It's just a rumour. You shouldn't believe everything you hear, Matsuda."

Matsuda deflated. "Oh, sorry to bother you, Chief. Uhm…do you want any more napkins?"

Soichiro brushed him away. "No, no, I'll go to the kitchen and get some myself."

"Oh, okay. Oh, while you're there, would you go up to Ryuzaki and Light's room to get them? They haven't come down for work, yet."

He nodded and walked off.

* * *

Passing the kitchen, having wiped himself off, Soichiro walked down to Light and L's room to retrieve them. As he approached the door, he heard Light exclaim, loudly, "Wow, Ryuzaki! You have a really big banana!"

Soichiro paused, thinking, _I couldn't have heard that right. _He kept walking.

"Thank you, Light-kun," came L's monotone. "Light-kun's is quite large as well."

Soichiro attempted to burst in on them, to maybe catch them in the act—or some kind of act—but was alarmed to find that the door was locked.

"Ryuzaki? Light?" he called, somewhat hysterical.

After a few minutes, L finally, _finally _opened the door, and he and Light were soaking wet. "Yagami-san? Is something wrong?"

"Uhm, uhm, what were you doing?"

"Oh, sorry—did we take too long?" Light cut in. "We apologize. Now, did you need us for something?"

Soichiro paled slightly, thinking back to Matsuda and the rumours. "Oh, um…no. Matsuda does. I mean, yes; the task force is waiting for you guys."

L nodded. "Of course."

* * *

At lunch, Soichiro pulled Matsuda aside. "Matsuda," he whispered, "I think I might have heard them talking about it."

"Who talking about what?" Matsuda asked, confused.

"Light and Ryuzaki, talking about, you know…_it_."

Matsuda gave an excited gasp. "Are you sure?"

Soichiro gave him a look. "Well, you can never _really _be sure. But they were soaking wet and they took a long time to open the door. They answered my question with a question when I asked them what they were doing."

Matsuda looked too excited for his own good. "That's so good!" Soichiro plastered a disapproving look on his face, inevitably causing Matsuda to change his answer. "I mean, uh, we need to investigate this right away."

"Exactly."

Soichiro began to walk away, Matsuda following him, but what he came across was a huge shocker.

L sat on his chair in his normal manner, but his hands and arms were underneath Light's shirt. He was rubbing Soichiro's son's chest in a circular motion. The chief gasped in horror.

"_What _are you two doing?" he demanded.

As soon as Soichiro spoke, Ryuzaki stopped rubbing and pulled his hands away from Light. L's face was taut. "Oh, Yagami-san. It was nothing."

"You call that nothing?"

"Yes, I do. Nothing important, that is." L threw something into the trash.

Not sure what to say to that, Soichiro sat down and attempted to focus on the Kira case.

One by one, the rest of the task force gradually began to return from lunch, and the day progressed slowly.

No one noticed at first when L and Light began arguing quietly amongst themselves, until L said, loudly, "Well, Light-kun wasn't complaining when I helped him to take off his clothing this morning."

"Yeah, well, Ryuzaki wasn't complaining when I had to hold him down just to—"

"_That_ wasn't my fault," L cut in, quickly. "It was simply more painful that I anticipated."

By this point, the rest of the task force was staring at them. Paying the rest of the investigators no mind, they both glared and proceeded to ignore each other, both annoyed.

* * *

As the day finally, finally, came to an end, L and Light got up to leave, and, out of the corner of his eye, Soichiro watched as L nonchalantly smacked Light's ass.

* * *

It was the end of the day. People were already leaving as Soichiro walked down the hall to L and Light's room. He steeled himself for the worst.

Just as he was about to knock on the door, he heard a loud moan come from Ryuzaki, followed by Light's voice saying, "Ryuzaki, that's so sticky!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to squirt it at Light-kun."

That was the final straw. Soichiro dashed up to Matsuda's room to tell him everything.

* * *

Later that evening, Matsuda truly did decide to investigate. He knocked on the door to L and Light's room.

"Come in," L called. Matsuda entered.

""Hey," Matsuda said, determined to be as blunt as possible.

"Yes, what is it?"

Matsuda took a deep breath. "Are you two sleeping together?"

L looked ever so slightly taken aback. "Of course not; why do you ask?"

"B-because everyone thinks you are. I mean, even, um, me. How do you explain the whole banana thing?"

"You mean our fruit basket?"

"Fruit basket?"

L shifted his body, gesturing to an empty fruit basket on the nightstand. "We had a basket of fruit this morning."

"Th-then, what about the 'I took off your clothes, Light-kun' and then 'I held you down, Ryuzaki,' thing?"

"Light's button got caught on his shirt before our shower this morning. I had to help him off with it. As for the holding me down thing, I injured my wrist, and he had to hold me down to help bandage it." Lo and behold, he held up a bandaged wrist.

"Then, what about having your hand up Light's shirt?"

"I merely spilled coffee on him and attempted to clean it up."

"What about the whole, 'That's so sticky,' thing, and the moan?"

"I merely hit my knee on the bedpost, causing me to spill my lemonade on him."

"_Then why did you smack his ass?" _Matsuda cried.

At this, L gave a mischievous smirk. "Goodnight, Matsuda."

* * *

Sorry that this wasn't very well-written. There are more chapters and rumours to come! Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. Please please please review, they make me very happy.

Thanks go to Stormygio for the story idea.

~Ratt Kazamata, 6-10-2012


End file.
